Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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