Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
