The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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