and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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