Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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