Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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