I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
His nipple licking is glorious
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