I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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