We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
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