You work out of a Hotel?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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