My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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