Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
