Your mouth is God's brothel.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
