from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
