Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
someone owes me an orgasm
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
