Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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