Me too!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
