If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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