I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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