he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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