You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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