..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
