Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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