I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Say something about gay babies.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Randomize
