I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize