so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
