Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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