You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
