No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
