Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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