She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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