I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
