My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
