So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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