I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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