He had one of those small greek statue penises
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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