Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
