Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
