Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
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I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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