How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
