Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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