We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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