I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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