So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
