Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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