HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
