time to smoke my breakfast
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
A+ Viking dick
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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