i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
