So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
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2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
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& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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