i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize