You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
