you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
