I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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