They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize