I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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