Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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