How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
A+ Viking dick
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