One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
