found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
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Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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