U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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