In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
