i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
