You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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