yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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